CARTOONIST NEEDS HELP

What should i do ?I hate my real job as a Bakery Manager and i quickly need a new Start.At the moment im writing Comedy Scripts which one day with Gods help will be broadcast and of course i draw cartoons ,Caricatures etc....

The question is ! what should i do next....
here are some of my examples.

Wedding Caricaturist.
Ebay Caricature Sales.
Illustrator ...books etc.
Porn star.....lol only kiddin ,,,,have you seen the shape of me i'm like a Fat version of Martin O'Niels Uglier Brother.
Sell origional and prints of Pattoons.

Thats my Idea's what do you guys think...the floor is yours.

Jack Vettriano

Here is my Latest Drawing.I love Jack Vettrianos stuff the guys just class but i cant be bothered painted even though i am awsome in the media too....So heres my twist on his dancing Butler picture....Its called the dancing Care worker...I love it oh and remember all drawings on this blog are the property of thier creator Me.So Hands off unless you want to pay me that is.

The Budget

Well another Budget.Am i a wee bit Richer or a big bit Poorer.I dont know.I dont Drink ,I dont Smoke,I have a small car,I have a Small Family.I have a Sore foot...am i Better off ...Probably Not.I have always found Bugets to be like those Scam Mail thiings from some foreign Place.I never asked for this government to conntact me or get involved in my life.I did part with some money in the form osf Taxes ...Hoping i would get more out of it than i put in but in the end you just get Screwed....Greeds a Bummer.But i did'nt vote these guys in and they still Robbed me.Bewary next time.

Thats Carp

Work.Lets ban the Stuff.

MOSES THE JUNKIE

So......Some Scholar Chap has came up with the Idea that Moses might just have been a wee bit High with the auld Drugs when he was up Mount Siani Talking to God about the Commandments and the burning Hedge.
I dont go along with that.Had this been the case the first thing a Junkie would have done is try and flogg the Tablets Straight away.The sale would probably hhave went something like this.
"haw man day yae want tae buy some C's"...."Much"...."10"..."Thats a bit steep!"..."Naw...Ave Goat 10"...."Naw its Awright,Huve yae anyting else....any ting else ? DVD's an That ?...."I ave goatthe Da, Vinci Code".

ROBBIE BONHAM

If you like to laugh you'll love this guy.He's got some of the best patter i have heard in years.Luckily for myself he's coming to Glasgow next month to the Stand Comedy Club.I'll be there he's doing one night in Glasgow and 3 in the Edinburgh Stand.He's Magic dont miss him.Amongst all the shite life throws at you it sometimes throws you the odd diamond.This Boys a Diamond either just stand and get hit by the shite or go to the Stand and enjoy the Diamond.

Foot Failure

Ah so your Back well ...This is what happened while you were away.I hurt my foot.....I worked too many hours and it damaged my foot.So now im hobbling about.This has ment i am off work due to this bloody injury.Thats Bad but in my absence one of my colleagues has Left..for better things.So to the big man Good luck in all your activities.The world needs more guys like yourself big chap.

The Steel Lady

This is for an Old Buddy.Take yer time Lady.

Universally Funny

As You may or may not know.I have started doing Standup Comedy gigs.I have 2 under my belt so far.A full house at the C.C.A in Sauchihall street Glasgow and a 400 seat capacity House at the Motherwell Civic Center.Can i just say i was Fecking Magic.I loved every moment of it and so did the audiance.Here is a Caricature of some of the people involved.Each one has an Amazing talent and its a pleasure to know each and every one of them.

WHATS BEEN HAPPENING TO ME

Ah so your Back well ...This is what happened while you were away. Well.I'm glad you asked.Its been a fun time I performed my first standup on the sixth of June,I was at the BBC FOR 4 NIGHTS and I'm just about to change my job....So as i write im unemployed but when i wake up i better remember and turn left at the first roundabout in the morning or I'll have"Fucked up "as we say here in Scotland.Oor Chelle has moved oot,Oor Dana is in Africa studying stripy Mice "I know ...what a swizz" and Oor Shannie is doing just Fine.So's the wife. Heres an unconnected Pattoon for you guys.Oh and my wee Film.Hope you like it..if the films not there its because its taking too long to upload.If it is there please ignore that last sentence.If the film is there did you enjoy it?If so why not comment and pander to my egotistical wee self

Im Still Alive

How dee dooo dee....Flimflamers and Shifty types.Im still alive and hopefully i will get back into the swing of blogging again.Heres some pics since i have been away.

Mr Brown The Money Clown

Ah so your Back well ...This is what happened while you were away.So Labour have messed up again.Inflation is at a 10 year high.Interest rates are expected to rise agin later in the month.Our pensions have been raided by about 20%.They plan to spend £30 BILLION on Nuclear weapons........and these diddies are trying to tell the Scottish people that the S.N.P Will cost every family a huge sum of money.Dont believe them and dont vote for them.

ChRIS Harkins not Hawkins

Chris Harkins....not Hawkins,Hes that wee robotic guy who talks like a calculator.

Not Long Now

Not long now till Blair and his Muppets are relieved of thier grip on us.Lets hope the country Remembers all the skull duggery that these guys have got up to and vote this Plamph out...Please.

Bastards and Dick Dasters In My WORK

This fucked up place is gonny make me flip.I work with in the majority but not on the whole a bunch of backstabbing sweety wives,Who i would rather not have to spend the time of day with but have to to earn crust.Some of the guys are Magic.I would do anything for Others i would rather throw jobbies at on thier wedding day.
I think its just me.Am i one of the few Sain people who could'n't give a fuck whos sleeping with who,who said what about who...etc..etc...Well am I.I dont know but i will say.This year my Christmas card list(If i had one)would be very short this coming year.
These Bastards make me want to Flip.....................................
So I HAVE DECIDED TO GIVE A RUNNING COMMENTRY OF WHOS SAYING WHAT TO WHO.JUST TO LET YOU GUYS UNDERSTAND HOW FUCKED UP OUR DEPARTMENT IS .NAMES WILL NOT BECHANGED TO PROTECT THE FUDDS.

Fucked over by a Friend

Last week i gave this Drawing (free )to a Friend,who happens to be my boss(Whatever that is?).This week he desides to grass me up for taking a dig at a fucked up little bawsack that works in my Department.This Redheaded fuckup thinks its ok to fuck me up to cover his own back.Well Hell slap it into you.I HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT.I also hope your next shite is a hedgehog and that your finger goes through the bogroll every time you use it.

What do you guys think ?Has this guy done the right thing by covering his back,Or is he a fucked up turncoat bastard who deserves to get some awful ailments? YOU DECIDE.
Oh by the way the Drawing is of his late father in law.I did it to give his wife some comfort in her time of need.I have one of my own Father and it brings me a little reminder of him.

LABOUR

Is it just me?Or can you smell GAS!
Its nearly Time for the Scottish Parliament Election.So Remember all the "GOOD DEEDS CARRIED OUT IN YOUR NAME BY THE lABOUR pARTY".

1 .Bullying and abusing The Parents and Children Of our Local school.

2 .Mr Brown Stealing a share of your Pension.

3 .Starting a War killing 10s of Thousands of People on the strength of a Lie.

4 .Just for being more Tory and Nazi like than Adolf Thatcher.

PLEASE ,PLEASE,PLEASE DONT VOTE LABOUR

What a Fecking big Flag

Hs anyone ever been to Aquaba in Jordon.I was there a few weeks ago.They have what i thought was the biggest flag in the world but i was wrong.This Fecking big Huge flag the size of a block of flats was the bloody winter flag...Apparently the summer flag is even bigger.You have to take my word for it though cos i cant upload the pictures of it cos im a bit thick.

Franks Doo

I was lucky enough to recieve an invitation to the Social event of the Coatbridge callender.Yes it was Frank Kelly's 65th Birthday party ,held in the exclusive St Patricks,Chapel Hall,Coatbridge.It was a rare night,Singers galore and good fun had by all.Heres my Gift to our Frank....Lets have many more.

Pattoon below