Pattoons

More Howat

2009-11-01T16:33:00.000Z

That Howat boy

2009-11-01T16:17:00.002Z

Well,where do we start with this guy.The begining!He's older than Beelsibub's Belly and shyer than a very Shy Cat.We find ourselves working together in the Hottest place in all of Scotland.........Wishaw.I just want to post this to tell the world that he is a Good Guy.....thats it,just that.Oh and that he has an addiction to Snackbars....here's a couple of his Toons.Enjoy

My First Standup all those Years ago.

2009-10-04T15:49:00.000+01:00

My Edinburgh Fringe Festival Show

2009-10-04T15:44:00.002+01:00

If you never Came to the show,You missed a magic afternoon.I was Feckin Awsome.Next year i Will do a one man Show.

Zeno

2009-10-04T15:34:00.002+01:00

Glasgow has some amazing People in it.Last weekend My Friend Thomas and I went to The Merchant City Festival in Glasgow.Thomas Loves Free Running and there3 was a Display and Training session during this Festival.We met the guys ,which was a big Deal for Thomas.They were all great and Spoke to him and gave him Their Autographs.They were all amazing Especially a guy called Zeno. Heres a link to his Blog .Be Amazed. http://traceurzeno.blogspot.com/

Celtic win again

2008-08-23T18:31:00.004+01:00

Celtic are back on thier winning ways Today we beat a Poor team called Falkirk.This put us top of the League i'm told.The best thing that happened was that one of our strikers Van Naeuse of Donkey pish got injured .Then we put on some good strikers and started to win.

THE STRIP

2008-08-05T20:47:00.002+01:00

Ah so your Back well ...This is what happened while you were away.

THE STRIP

2008-08-05T20:47:00.001+01:00

Ah so your Back well ...This is what happened while you were away.

The New Cartoon.......THE CLAN

2008-08-05T20:41:00.003+01:00

Frank Adams

2008-06-27T08:39:00.000+01:00

Today a part of Bargeddie's History is coming to an end.In 1972 a young man Called Frank joined our local primary School.I think it was as a Janny but i don't know i was only 4.Over the years many things have changed while other's haven't like his tie,shirt and shoes and of course his hairstyle ( Sadly now nylon ).
Today Frank retires.He has served this wee village well over the years and has risen to the rank of Headmaster.We haven't always seen eye to eye most recently in the whole ppp school nonsense but there was a time we did i was in primary 7 (the huts).Somebody had Nicked some Daffodils from Mr Robert Tippens garden (sadly now gone but i was lucky enough to call him a friend in my adult life)not me but i and a few others were earmarked for the belt.I was not happy with this as A. i didn't do it and B.Frank i was told was the hardest hitter of the belt unlike Mr O'hare who was a kind man with hairy hands and could beat Frank at Table tennis any day of the week.
So back to the Huts.Mr Adams calls out our names one at a time .He lined us up in front of the blackboard and one at a time he takes us behind the blackboard to a small work area and one at a time the guys come out holding their hands and looking sore after you heard the swish of a belt and the slapping noise of the belt making contact.Then came my turn (shit)...He didn't hit us he hit the table and told us too pretend...that shows the measure of the man.
Good luck Frank enjoy Parkhead and please smile when your on the telly.

2008-06-25T18:43:00.000+01:00

MY ALTER EGO

2008-06-10T14:06:00.000+01:00

Many Years ago i had an alter ego.This man was the Fat Bast@rd,I had two accomplasis at this time,The Pieman ( Peter Parsons ) and Marraca boy ( Mick Brown ).Saddley these days are gone now and Like the superheros in the Invinciables we all find ourselves Defunked.Anyway here is a Cartoon from those hero days.

Peter Parsons

2008-06-07T19:54:00.000+01:00

The other day i met Peter Parsons.Yes of the three amigos fame.He hasent changed a bit but his hair has withdrawn from his head.The big man is one of my favourite people in this world.I rate him so much that if i had to choose the next person to win the lottery it would be him.Anyhow i found this old drawing of our alter egos,Fatman and Pieman.I hope you enjoy

Oban Bound

2008-05-12T21:36:00.000+01:00

This post is for my wee brother Mick,His wife Caroline and my Godson Christopher.They Have all for some ungodly reason went to Oban.Oban is the only place in Scotland i don't like,Its like Coatbridge on a wet day,when all the pound shops have shut.Mick and Caroline lap it up.Its Freezing,In the summer the temperature can get as high as minus 6...and that's inside.Have a Fantastic time ther folks and bring us some ice doon for oor drinks cos Bargeddie is Toasting in a Summer Heatwave "pass me the suntan cream Susie".

CARTOONIST NEEDS HELP

2008-03-28T14:34:00.001Z

What should i do ?I hate my real job as a Bakery Manager and i quickly need a new Start.At the moment im writing Comedy Scripts which one day with Gods help will be broadcast and of course i draw cartoons ,Caricatures etc....

The question is ! what should i do next....
here are some of my examples.

Wedding Caricaturist.
Ebay Caricature Sales.
Illustrator ...books etc.
Porn star.....lol only kiddin ,,,,have you seen the shape of me i'm like a Fat version of Martin O'Niels Uglier Brother.
Sell origional and prints of Pattoons.

Thats my Idea's what do you guys think...the floor is yours.

Jack Vettriano

2008-03-28T14:21:00.001Z

Here is my Latest Drawing.I love Jack Vettrianos stuff the guys just class but i cant be bothered painted even though i am awsome in the media too....So heres my twist on his dancing Butler picture....Its called the dancing Care worker...I love it oh and remember all drawings on this blog are the property of thier creator Me.So Hands off unless you want to pay me that is.

The Budget

2008-03-12T13:49:00.001Z

Well another Budget.Am i a wee bit Richer or a big bit Poorer.I dont know.I dont Drink ,I dont Smoke,I have a small car,I have a Small Family.I have a Sore foot...am i Better off ...Probably Not.I have always found Bugets to be like those Scam Mail thiings from some foreign Place.I never asked for this government to conntact me or get involved in my life.I did part with some money in the form osf Taxes ...Hoping i would get more out of it than i put in but in the end you just get Screwed....Greeds a Bummer.But i did'nt vote these guys in and they still Robbed me.Bewary next time.

Thats Carp

2008-03-11T18:10:00.001Z

Work.Lets ban the Stuff.

MOSES THE JUNKIE

2008-03-05T12:24:00.001Z

So......Some Scholar Chap has came up with the Idea that Moses might just have been a wee bit High with the auld Drugs when he was up Mount Siani Talking to God about the Commandments and the burning Hedge.
I dont go along with that.Had this been the case the first thing a Junkie would have done is try and flogg the Tablets Straight away.The sale would probably hhave went something like this.
"haw man day yae want tae buy some C's"...."Much"...."10"..."Thats a bit steep!"..."Naw...Ave Goat 10"...."Naw its Awright,Huve yae anyting else....any ting else ? DVD's an That ?...."I ave goatthe Da, Vinci Code".

ROBBIE BONHAM

2008-02-23T22:15:00.000Z

If you like to laugh you'll love this guy.He's got some of the best patter i have heard in years.Luckily for myself he's coming to Glasgow next month to the Stand Comedy Club.I'll be there he's doing one night in Glasgow and 3 in the Edinburgh Stand.He's Magic dont miss him.Amongst all the shite life throws at you it sometimes throws you the odd diamond.This Boys a Diamond either just stand and get hit by the shite or go to the Stand and enjoy the Diamond.

Foot Failure

2008-02-23T22:09:00.000Z

Ah so your Back well ...This is what happened while you were away.I hurt my foot.....I worked too many hours and it damaged my foot.So now im hobbling about.This has ment i am off work due to this bloody injury.Thats Bad but in my absence one of my colleagues has Left..for better things.So to the big man Good luck in all your activities.The world needs more guys like yourself big chap.

The Steel Lady

2008-02-23T22:07:00.001Z

This is for an Old Buddy.Take yer time Lady.

Universally Funny

2007-10-24T20:10:00.000+01:00

As You may or may not know.I have started doing Standup Comedy gigs.I have 2 under my belt so far.A full house at the C.C.A in Sauchihall street Glasgow and a 400 seat capacity House at the Motherwell Civic Center.Can i just say i was Fecking Magic.I loved every moment of it and so did the audiance.Here is a Caricature of some of the people involved.Each one has an Amazing talent and its a pleasure to know each and every one of them.

WHATS BEEN HAPPENING TO ME

2007-08-28T21:20:00.000+01:00

Ah so your Back well ...This is what happened while you were away. Well.I'm glad you asked.Its been a fun time I performed my first standup on the sixth of June,I was at the BBC FOR 4 NIGHTS and I'm just about to change my job....So as i write im unemployed but when i wake up i better remember and turn left at the first roundabout in the morning or I'll have"Fucked up "as we say here in Scotland.Oor Chelle has moved oot,Oor Dana is in Africa studying stripy Mice "I know ...what a swizz" and Oor Shannie is doing just Fine.So's the wife. Heres an unconnected Pattoon for you guys.Oh and my wee Film.Hope you like it..if the films not there its because its taking too long to upload.If it is there please ignore that last sentence.If the film is there did you enjoy it?If so why not comment and pander to my egotistical wee self

Im Still Alive

2007-08-10T17:14:00.000+01:00

How dee dooo dee....Flimflamers and Shifty types.Im still alive and hopefully i will get back into the swing of blogging again.Heres some pics since i have been away.